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The Man That I Am

November03/ 2017

It has been a minute since I have been on here to share a little something with you all. Just recently during one of my “time outs”, I was consumed with the condition of my present mental state. I was resolved to the fact that it is still in “stable condition”. I couldn’t help but thank God for keeping me in my right mind… taking into consideration so many of the challenges that I have had to face in my years of existence. I recall asking the question to various individuals, “If you could go back to any age in your life, at what age would you return to start your life’s journey over?” I’ve always said that I would go back to the age of 5. I had to backtrack over the years to reach a place in my life that seemed relatively stable, secure, carefree… happy. Admittedly, while going through the collected files of my past, I found myself getting tense with anger, mildly depressed, giddy from the thoughts of sporadic comical flashbacks, and occasionally drenched from the uninvited tears that flooded my face when my mind delved into the most darkest chambers of my past. The more memories I recalled and the effects those experiences has had on my life, the less I entertained the desire of rewinding my life back to my early childhood years. If I were allowed to change even one element of my past, the outcome of who I am today could very well be dramatically different…for the better or for the worse. Believing fully that each one of us on this planet is here for a greater purpose than just taking up space, I’ve decided to embrace my past and ALL that is consist of and use it to birth opportunities instead of oppositions.

That being said…I’d now like to share the organized, collected thoughts that emerged from that particular “time out”.

Questions & comments are always welcome.

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As far back as I can remember I have enjoyed writing, drawing, coloring, singing and playing the piano. I have often referred to these creative outlets as my ‘therapists’. It was that safe place where I could pour my soul out without having to feel ashamed, embarrassed, foolish or judged. It is still a safe haven for me today. I never intended for my work to be read, recited or seen by anyone other than myself. It never crossed my mind that it would even be of interest to anyone other than me. My first recorded poem dates back to 1976 where at the tender age of 9, I sat at my parents’ dining room table to pen a poem of appreciation for my mother and father. During my junior year in high school I was required to write poetry for various English assignments. Much of my poetry was written during my high school and college years. It wasn’t until I was in college when a friend of mine read one of my poems and wanted to read more that I learned that my writing was something others could relate to. She was flabbergasted when I told her that I didn’t keep them and that it was just an avenue that allowed me to exhale. She strongly encouraged me to start saving them. Since then, the thoughts and feelings expressed through poetry have served as the “diary” of my life. I have found it amazing to see how my writing style, vocabulary and thought process have evolved over the years. The Inner Voice brings to account some of the love, sadness, infatuation, bereavement and triumphs that I have experienced over the years. It also permits me to share some of my finer “Hallmark” expressions. In addition to writing poetry, I have been inspired to write articles on social issues, respond to commentaries and concerns written in blogs, and give my humble opinion on private matters when asked. Some of these writing I have decided to include in this book. It is my hope that the thoughts and words shared in this book will be that by which others can not only relate to, but be encouraged by and enjoy.

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